And you’ll probably find that one type of intimacy leads to another. Or they’ve been on their own for years and don’t realize that their friends or job or other interests no longer take precedence. Schedule time for your marriage first. However, rejecting beauty standards doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look after yourself. Ahhh … quiet. Avoidance destroys intimacy. The biggest challenge is often deciding how you’ll handle the holidays. Simply click here to chat. “Our mates need our encouragement.” Three strategies she and her husband recommend in their workshops: Look for the positive in your new spouse; develop a sense of humor; and give honest, specific praise — describe what you appreciate about your spouse. I couldn’t find any this morning after my shower.”), And end with a hope that could be small (“I hope we can go see that new movie Friday night”) or lavish (“I’d love to retire at age 50 and sail the Mediterranean with you.”). “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. How to Rebuild Trust in a Broken Relationship, According to Therapists. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 5 Stain Removers Dry Cleaners Never Use—And What to Use Instead, 65 Best Friend Gifts for Every Type of Friend, My Best Friend Scammed Me Out of $92,000, Forcing Me into Bankruptcy, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply, 11 Signs Your Relationship Is Being Ruined By Your Partner’s Phone Addiction (+ 6 Fixes), How To Fall Back In Love With Your Spouse/Long-Term Partner, Bored In Your Relationship? Appreciating the why of where your intimate partner is coming from — without feeling threatened that their why might trump yours — is a powerful means of building empathy (without giving up your own opinion) and empathy is deeply intimate. “Unless you’re willing to make your relationship a higher priority than other relationships and activities, you won’t have a growing marriage,” notes Claudia Arp. Show them that you’re happy just spending time in their company, and want to make memories. I’ve been married twice before, and I don’t think we had each other’s best interests at heart like this. “You’ll know the answer almost intuitively if you stop and ponder it,” Dr. Love notes. We had our own agendas.” Arp suggests that encouraging your partner is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship. You may also like (article continues below): Those examples of romantic gestures are just some of the ways that you can interrupt the pattern your life has gotten into. Stressors, change, schedules, physical distance, mental preoccupation, the ebb and flow of life … so many things can lead to our waking up one morning and feeling distant from our intimate other. Sadness breeds sadness. Not because you should or because you “owe” it to them, but because you can. Making the effort to understand another person doesn’t commit you to agreeing with them; it does however demonstrate a deep degree of caring even in the context of a disagreement. If we think of intimacy as a degree of special connection, we realize that even “good” things happening in our lives can lead to decreased intimacy. To instantly inject intimacy into your relationship, make the decision to be available to your partner in a way you usually are not. This will be because you were already feeling distant in a relationship. You’re a team — and responsible to someone else in a new and profound way. In many cases, having a third party present can help to address the trouble a man and woman (or any combination thereof) might be having. Still not sure what to do about the intimacy issues in your relationship? care about … making a favorite meal or watching that movie they love and you can’t stand while you cuddle. Marriage experts recommend couples do something that big business has employed for decades to keep workers happy, productive, and in the loop: hold regular team meetings. Take a scenic drive to get an ice cream, clean the tub together, or take a cooking class. A relationship or sex therapist can lead the conversation to the most relevant issues, keep things on track if they start to go off topic, and act as a mediator in case of disagreements.