With just a few essentials and a little planning, you can enjoy a nice variety of easy cocktails. You tryna be tricky? Good god, how we miss bars. A baby seal walks into a bar. Southern Comfort is a New Orleans-made liquor inspired by an 1874 recipe. Tall drinks save the most money because they take longer to drink. The more expensive versions are aged in barrels to bring out rum's more subtle and complex flavors, but regular old white rum is a great option for an inexpensive drink. When you have a bottle of sparkling wine in the cellar, few drinks are better suited for it than the mimosa. American blended whiskeys are so inexpensive because they only have to contain 20 percent whiskey; the rest can be made up of neutral grain spirits, colorings, and flavorings. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror. 7-Up Soda. The bartender says, “Want to hear a joke?” The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”, A man walks into a bar with his alligator and asks: “Do you serve lawyers here?” The bartender says: “Yes, of course we do!”, The man says, “OK, I’ll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.”. The gin rickey is a simple gin highball with the tart taste of lime. The lounge Lizard adds a shot of amaretto, while the lime cola holds the rum for an old-fashioned soda fountain drink. Hope you enjoyed these drinking jokes. There are a ton of cheap tequilas out there. Two chemists walk into a bar. In the royal-tea cocktail, a nice gin is paired with Earl Grey and accented with a bit of lemon and sugar. It's simple in flavor because it's made with only two ingredients, so it drinks as easy as a Jack and Coke or gin and tonic. It received excellent scores from Beverage Testing Institute and Wine Enthusiast, and it also earned medals at San Francisco World Spirits Competition. Know of any alcohol or drinking jokes that should be here? A personal favorite is to switch glasses of vodka and whisky, and when you feel tipsy finish the job with beer. For instance, add pineapple juice and you have a bay breeze, orange juice creates a madras, and grapefruit juice transforms it into a sea breeze. Something like cranberry juice is perfect because it has a bold and assertive flavor. The strawberry daiquiri is a favorite and either fresh or frozen berries will do. If you're in the mood for whiskey, bourbon, or rye, look to the Old Fashioned. They're made by crushing refreshing mint leaves to bring out their essential oils. No matter what you do, stay away from drinks with multiple alcohilic ingredients (especially if they contain more than one liquor you've never heard of before) and try to order from the well — the cheapest booze behind the bar. There's no doubt that Smirnoff is classic cheap vodka, costing just $10 for unflavored and about $15 for flavored. A well-stocked bar and a little soda can take you from the rickey to a myriad of other drinks, including the nonalcoholic lime rickey and the whiskey fizz, which prefers lemon juice. “What can I get you?,” asks the bartender. Add it to a mixer as strongly-flavored as Coca-Cola, and you can mix in the cheapest rum at the bar; you won't be able to taste the difference. By the time it's mixed with lime and cranberry juices, you won't be able to tell the difference.